Meet Will Carter, but feel free to call him Carter. (Yes, he knows it´s a lazy nickname, but he didn´t have much say in the matter.) Here are five things you should know about him:1. He has a stuttering problem, particularly around boobs and belly buttons.2. He battles Attention Deficit Disorder every minute of every day...unless he gets distracted.3. He´s a virgin, mostly because he´s no good at talking to girls (see number 1).4. He´s about to start high school.5. He´s totally not ready.Join Carter for his freshman year, where he´ll search for sex, love, and acceptance anywhere he can find it. In the process, he´ll almost kill a trombone player, face off with his greatest nemesis, suffer a lot of blood loss, narrowly escape death, run from the cops (not once, but twice), get caught up in a messy love triangle, meet his match in the form of a curvy drill teamer, and surprise the hell out of everyone, including himself. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Nick Podehl. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/brll/001625de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Are you worried about your kids because they seem unmotivated, unwilling to do anything, and are having difficulties in life? Have you or a loved one gained weight? Are you always upset about every little thing on the news? Maybe you need to turn off the television! The boob tube, as it used to be called, breeds violence and laziness in society. A large minority of the population sits in front to the television every day, soaking in advertising and political propaganda, watching violence and sex, and gaining weight. Do you feel unhealthy and ill much of the time? Perhaps you should stop eating fast food and change your diet to be healthier. Possibly you need to get off the couch, turn off the TV, and get outside. The fresh air and wide open spaces will do you good. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Roy Wells. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/073955de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Paula is a little jealous of her friends new boob job, so she and her husband head to a plastic surgeon to do some research. Dr. Ellis is happy to oblige, and he brings his nurses in as well. Before Paula even knows what´s happening, her husband is busy enjoying some patient doctor sex with three beautiful big breasted nurses, and Paula isn´t left behind. That´s because Dr. Ellis has this slutty wife bent over and is enjoying her while she enjoys the show! She better follow this doctor´s orders. Warning: This audiobook contains graphic representations of sexual activity including doctor patient sex, group sex, oral sex, and semen swallowing. It is intended for mature listeners who will not be offended by explicit descriptions of sexual acts between consenting adults. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Nichelle Gregory. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/011526de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
The old version of America is dead, bankrupt, kaput, finito, done, stick a fork in her. They killed her off with expensive wars and social programs without any means to pay for them other than printing money and through Government Bail-Outs of criminals who gave us the current financial collapse and depressed economy. America 2.0 Inc. -- Take Stock In America allows us put a halt to this race to become a third world nation and then to stop this dangerous path to destruction by simply incorporating the entire US Government into a For-Profit Corporation. Sounds crazy, I know. But, not after you read this astounding new book. When you finish it, you´ll become convinced that this is the greatest idea you´ve ever heard about in your life. First, we would no longer need to pay our citizens in the form of Welfare checks of any kind. No more unemployment insurance, no more food stamps, no more social security, Medicare or ObamaCare because we would all own part of the greatest economy in the world, the US Economy as stockholders. All of these so-called ´´Entitlements´´ are replaced by our own personal shares in America 2.0 Inc. As we all work harder to increase our shares, the economy improves under this newsocial contract, so does the over-all profitability and sustainability of the country. From the profits generated by the sum of all our hard work, we are paid in the form of yearly dividends instead of paying taxes on our incomes to the boobs who simply throw our money down the drain. Secondly, as a For-Profit corporation our executives would have to be far more trustworthy and obey all of the time-tested and trusted forms of corporate governance such as full disclosure, full accountability, shareholder protections, and due diligence. Finally and perhaps most importantly, the investors, the shareholders in the American economy, you and me, would have total control over the decisions being made for us in the way of Nati... ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Michael Mathiesen. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/005981de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
How the (Bleep) Did I Get This Old? showcases the best of ´´Laverne´s View,´´ a humor column she began writing in 1999 that has been syndicated since 2004. The author returns to the single life after the breakup of a 21-year marriage. Men are older, but still motivated by the same primal urges, and four decades and three children later, she is still trying to preserve her virginity. Years bring bodily assaults, including cataracts, joint replacements, sagging boobs, and a dying libido. Bardy describes the virtues of growing up in the 40s and 50s when people survived bike riding without a helmet, driving without a seatbelt, and being flashed by men in trench coats without needing years of therapy. She curses her battle with weight, trading high heels for practical shoes, plastic key tags, never-ending junk mail, and packaging that requires iron hands and an act of congress to open. After 23 years of vowing never to remarry, she succumbs to the charms of a man she meets online. When he proposes, she suspects she must really love him because thoughts of marriage don´t send her fleeing to the porcelain throne. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Candee Lewis. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/049686de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
In religion, there are seven deadly sins that everyone must deal with sooner or later: gluttony, greed, sloth, pride, envy, wrath, and lust. In relationships, there are five deadly questions that every guy must deal with sooner or later: Does this dress make my ass look fat? How many women have you slept with? Should I get a boob job? Do you think I´d make a good prostitute? How the hell do I get her to sign the pre-nup? Forget about Dr. Phil, Wayne, Laura, and Dr. Ruth: listen to this book instead, and take control of your relationship. Now, for the first time, men of the world can have a chance to exist in a relationship without being at a disadvantage. This book teaches men how to deal with most of the most common things that women say. Men can now learn how to interpret those words, know the meanings behind them, and manipulate each situation to bring about a much more desirable conclusion. Also included in this book are the answers to the most difficult questions that females ask their men, plus how to get a pre-nuptial agreement signed, and much, much more. This is the perfect book for any male old enough to date, and is a must-listen for any guy about to enter into a relationship, because knowing how to interpret and manipulate the female thought process can be a life-saving skill. Dr. Shoveen has gotten into various degrees of trouble with numerous women´s rights groups, and the publisher of this book wants all listeners to be advised that the views of Dr. Shoveen in no way are meant to be representative of the views of Magic Lamp Press/Productions, the publisher of his books in print, digital, and audio formats. ungekürzt. Language: English. Narrator: Ted Delorme. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/070472de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Brian Underwood had loved his neighbor, Jia, since they were children. But she was a lesbian, and he...wasnt. But a wish on a star one night led to unforeseen changes. Brian woke up the next morning with his body transformed. He was no longer Brian, but...Brianna! Follow the two star-crossed lovers as they try to reconcile the changes in their lives. Because Brians a lesbian now! ----- PG Excerpt ----- I bet youre a horny little tramp, arent you, Brianna? If you were still a guy, youd be hard and youd want to go and stroke off. But you cant. Her voice lowered, becoming deep and sultry. Are you hot for me? Are you wet? One hand fell casually on the inside of her thigh, sliding up the denim. Brianna was shocked at her friends dirty talk and her nonchalant attitude. Was this what she was like when she wasnt around? No wonder so many young women had fallen under her spell. I...I dont know. What? I dont know, okay? Jesus, Jia! Ive been a woman for maybe two hours, and you think I know what its like to be...to be aroused? she glared helplessly at her. And what is with you? Last night the only way I would have been able to get you into my bed was with a dose of ruffies. And now youre feeling me up in your car like its the most natural thing in the world. That was then, Bree. This is now. Last night you were a nice guy who had the unfortunate disadvantage of having a dick. Now, youre a gorgeous woman with world-class boobs. And I wouldnt mind seeing a lot more than I have already. But Im not going to throw you down on the floor and bang you. So I want to know what turns you on. What makes you all hot and bothered. When you were a guy, wasnt there a certain body type you went for more than others? Besides me, of course. She smirked with pride. Well, yeah, she admitted. I always liked brunettes. Dark skin helped. Asians. Latinas. Long hair was nice, too. But God, Jia. When I was a guy, it was easy. She gestured at her crotch. Heres your weiner. Either its hard or not. Her lips twitched. No wonder so many computer geeks are guys. Its a very binary world. Must be right up their alley. Jia snickered. Well, thats true. But we cant send you out into public without knowing the basics. Otherwise youll have your signals crossed and some randy lesbo will take advantage of you. She pulled neatly into a parking space across from Briannas apartment. She looked down at her hands, which were clenched tightly on the steering wheel. I could help you, if you want. Help me what? Help you figure it out. How your body works. Im not going to send you into the wild with no more knowledge of the female body than what you picked up having sex with your girlfriends. I mean, she said, stuttering a little, I know you were a good lover. Careful and considerate. Ive had enough girl-talk with your girlfriends to figure that out. But following instructions from your girlfriend is a lot different than learning about your own body. And you dont have the months of experimentation most kids get once they hit puberty to learn what works for you. She set a hand on her arm, trying to hide the way it trembled. Ill teach you, if you want.