You´ve found your Ultimate Retirement Book! Congratulations on reaching that point in life where you can sit back, put your feet up, and enjoy retirement! Just think of it, no more cares, no more hurry and...no more paychecks! Yikes! The first day of retirement is an exciting time. You get to sleep in until noon, then sit around in your pajamas all day. There are lots of soap operas to catch up on and then of course all those small jobs around the house you’ve been putting off for years. That was always the plan, right? But the reality is you’ll still get up at 7 a.m. every morning, looking in the mirror and wonder what to do with yourself. Maybe you’ll head out to Starbucks and nurse a coffee all day. Or you could just sit on the porch and scratch yourself as people go by. Those options don’t appeal to you? Well then, you’ve discovered the ultimate book on retirement just in time. Take this humorous approach to enjoy your retirement. In this book you will discover the 50 best things you absolutely need to do to enjoy your retirement to the fullest, such as: Joining a Nudist Club...It’s a jiggle fest and a giggle fest Dancing...Men will hate it, women will love it Get a Sex Change...for guys that had man boobs anyway The Art and Science of Napping...and yes there is Smoke Pot...Join the movement, it’s a joint effort Check out Cemeteries...Your last rodeo Gamble in Vegas Baby! What happens there stays there And so much, much more… After reading this book, you will never get bored in your retirement. You will know exactly what to do in your life...in the funny, humorous ways.... Perfect for retirees. Perfect retirement gift. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Sam Slydell. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/100544de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Are you worried about your kids because they seem unmotivated, unwilling to do anything, and are having difficulties in life? Have you or a loved one gained weight? Are you always upset about every little thing on the news? Maybe you need to turn off the television! The boob tube, as it used to be called, breeds violence and laziness in society. A large minority of the population sits in front to the television every day, soaking in advertising and political propaganda, watching violence and sex, and gaining weight. Do you feel unhealthy and ill much of the time? Perhaps you should stop eating fast food and change your diet to be healthier. Possibly you need to get off the couch, turn off the TV, and get outside. The fresh air and wide open spaces will do you good. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Roy Wells. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/073955de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Meet Will Carter, but feel free to call him Carter. (Yes, he knows it´s a lazy nickname, but he didn´t have much say in the matter.) Here are five things you should know about him: 1. He has a stuttering problem, particularly around boobs and belly buttons.2. He battles Attention Deficit Disorder every minute of every day...unless he gets distracted.3. He´s a virgin, mostly because he´s no good at talking to girls (see number 1).4. He´s about to start high school.5. He´s totally not ready. Join Carter for his freshman year, where he´ll search for sex, love, and acceptance anywhere he can find it. In the process, he´ll almost kill a trombone player, face off with his greatest nemesis, suffer a lot of blood loss, narrowly escape death, run from the cops (not once, but twice), get caught up in a messy love triangle, meet his match in the form of a curvy drill teamer, and surprise the hell out of everyone, including himself. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Nick Podehl. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/brll/001625de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Who in their right mind would kidnap the daughter of a high-ranking Vietnamese National Assembly member and a mad monk´s wife... moreover, for what reason?The third part of the brilliantly funny Siam Storm series. Spock and Stu are having an intellectual debate about saggy boobs when Pon phones with his disturbing news. They know that they must go to be by his side until things can be resolved. Spock and Stu now live in Pattaya with their wives, Dao and Moo. The past few years have been idyllic, with them both settling into to married life and any thoughts of adventure far behind them. Though Pon sounded anxious on the phone, the lads are sure that he is fretting over nothing. However, just in case, Spock takes his adventure hat along. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Robert A Webster. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/029561de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
The 7 Deadly Sins have never been so - Deadly! Or so much fun! Meet Nikki Holden - she may know 140 characters but social media is not her venue. Shes an investigative reporter with more enemies than friends - and her friends are very shady. Shes on the trail of a stunning story at Pleasure Island. And she doesnt mind using her pick pocket talents or a well-aimed champagne cork or even a pair of 38s (boobs not guns) to get her story. Shes tenacious, sarcastic and an ex-con. Meet Roman Cantrell - ex-Army ranger who couldnt stop fighting, he went off the grid doing Black Ops but came back to the US to start an international security firm. He keeps popping into Nikkis life at the most inconvenient times. And he knows too much about her past. He also knows shes not capable of good behavior. Is Roman looking for the person Nikkis ... kidnapped? Or is he looking for a more intimate connection? One thing for sure - theyre both heading into murderously Dangerous Places
Famed for his gentle innocence and brilliant observational wit, comedian Alan Carr describes his childhood growing up in a football-mad family in Northampton and his rise to become one of Britain´s best-loved comedians. ´´Puberty had been unkind. Whereas it had come in the night and left the other boys with chiselled, stubbly chins and deep masculine voices, I´d been left with a huge pair of knockers and the voice of a pensioner.´´-Alan Carr Alan Carr grew up in one of the most boring towns in England: Northampton, a place known for making shoes. It was also famous for its football club, Northampton Town FC. Alan´s dad as manager of the club was a local hero - a dream come true for most lads, but not Alan. Alan wore glasses and had man boobs at 14. He did not like P.E. In his very first book, Alan tells his life story (´´oh and what a life´´) with his unique twist of natural, observational humour - ´´I´m not saying I´m a fantasist but there have been times when things that I´ve seen on television when I was younger have tended to seep into my subconscious and blended into my own life. I remember telling my mum about the time I stopped that woman from having a diamond encrusted necklace stolen and she´d say ´No Alan, that was Poirot.´´´ With his tongue-in-cheek, end of pier humour that has made him famous, Alan describes an ordinary life in bursts of technicolour. His journey from awkward schoolboy hiding his man-boobs on the pitch, drinking tea with the dinner ladies and working in a call centre, to becoming one of our best-loved comedians, likened to the great Frankie Howerd, will make his audiobook a guaranteed tickler, with a laugh-out-loud gag at every turn. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Alan Carr. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/hcuk/000372de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Sylvia and George have a wonderful marriage and they also play a silly game. What´s your price? How much to eat fishing bait? How much to scream randomly? How much to flash your boobs? When it comes to the sex questions, Sylvia´s prices are astronomical, so she doesn´t really understand how the people from the Internet site get her to do things she´d charge thousands for. She agrees to sleep with her husband on the beach while being filmed but things don´t work out as planned. Before she knows it, it´s not her husband but a stranger with a very, very large cock. She feels horrible and her husband seems humiliated as hell. Why does he also seem so turned on? Warning: This audiobook contains very explicit descriptions of sexual activity and includes rough sex, group sex, first anal sex, reluctant sex, first lesbian sex, and more. Only mature adults who won´t find that offensive should listen to this collection. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Reagan West. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/074701de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Catch a professional assassin: top priority. Find a failure-to-appear and collect big bucks: top score. How she´ll pull it all off: top secret. Trenton, New Jersey´s favorite used-car dealer, Jimmy Poletti, was caught selling a lot more than used cars out of his dealerships. Now he´s out on bail and has missed his date in court, and bounty hunter Stephanie Plum is looking to bring him in. Leads are quickly turning into dead ends, and all too frequently into dead bodies. Even Joe Morelli, the city´s hottest cop, is struggling to find a clue to the suspected killer´s whereabouts. These are desperate times, and they call for desperate measures. So Stephanie is going to have to do something she really doesn´t want to do: protect former hospital security guard and general pain in her behind Randy Briggs. Briggs was picking up quick cash as Poletti´s bookkeeper and knows all his boss´ dirty secrets. Now Briggs is next on Poletti´s list of people to put six feet under. To top things off, Ranger - resident security expert and Stephanie´s greatest temptation - has been the target of an assassination plot. He´s dodged the bullet this time, but if Ranger wants to survive the next attempt on his life, he´ll have to enlist Stephanie´s help and reveal a bit more of his mysterious past. Death threats, highly trained assassins, highly untrained assassins, and Stark Street being overrun by a pack of feral Chihuahuas are all in a day´s work for Stephanie Plum. The real challenge is dealing with her Grandma Mazur´s wild bucket list. A boob job and getting revenge on Joe Morelli´s Grandma Bella can barely hold a candle to what´s number one on the list - but that´s top secret. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Lorelei King. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/head/000351de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Bondage and Domination Erotica Publishing presents this intensely erotic story from Sylvia Synn. What would you do if you and a friend went to a nude beach and things got sexy? That´s exactly what happens to Delora and not only does she have her first lesbian sex but three men show up for an orgy in public! PLEASE NOTE: Bondage and Domination Erotica Publishing specializes in rough BDSM fantasies, but these stories are not reality. In truth, BDSM is not about sudden situations, but requires very careful planning and communication. Don´t interpret a story like this as a guide for behavior. It´s a sexy fantasy, not a how to manual. Warning: This audiobook contains very explicit descriptions of sexual activity and includes public sex, rough sex, first lesbian sex, bondage, spanking, double penetration and more. Only mature adults who won´t find that offensive should listen to this story. Here is a preview: Dear God, the tanning oil! Moments later, the import of that hit her. She watched in excited and aroused shock as Sharon rubbed it over her thighs and her calves and then up over her nice, flat tummy and her breasts. Dee desperately wished she could be the one running slick hands over her boobs but she certainly couldn´t complain about the sight. Sharon handed her the bottle and Dee was just about to pour some over her own breasts when Sharon said, ´´Wait. Do my back first.´´ 1. Language: English. Narrator: Veronica Fox. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/079712de/bk_rhde_002536_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
The Gallifrey family is having a swinging good time...until younger brother Jason gets cold feet. Will his sexy older sister and horny twin be able to lure him back into the fold? And what other surprises are in store when new family members show up? Life is interesting when you work for Incest, Inc.! ----- PG Excerpt ----- Well, here we are, Angie said as they entered Jasons room. All things considered, she thought it best that they not make love for the first time in her room, with the faint scent of lust still in the air from her session with their father yesterday afternoon. Without any fuss, she stripped, tossing her clothes carelessly on the floor. What? Jason was staring at her. No. Jason was drinking her in, the expression on his face awestruck. She swallowed. No one had ever looked at her that way before, their faces filled with a combination of tenderness and desire and sheer, simple, love. The sight made her legs weak, and she was suddenly willing to do anything, literally anything, to make him continue to look at her that way. Youre incredible, Angelica. Absolutely incredible. Thanks, she said, trying to keep her voice light. Inside, she was turning to putty, her belly churning with unfulfilled lust, flooding her body with heat. But what about you? Take those clothes off, pretty boy, and let me see what youve been hiding. Jason began to undress, and her eyes widened. Every square inch of him was lovely to her eyes. It was as if Shannons Goddess had designed for her the perfect man and had hid him squarely under her nose for years. When he stepped out of his shorts and boxers, the sight of his nude body made her breath catch in her throat. Jason. Youre beautiful. Me? He laughed, the sound containing a surprising quaver. Look at you. Your body, your butt, your...your breasts. Youre absolutely gorgeous. I feel ridiculous just being in the same room with you. She smiled. This was a side of her brother she had never seen before, and she thought she might grow to like it. You say the sweetest things, she cooed, moving closer. Unconsciously, she put a slow strut in her steps, enjoying the way her brothers eyes widened as she approached him. What do you like the best? My butt? She turned and shook her rear at him. My boobs? She lifted one in her hand, enjoying the weight as it settled into her palm. Everything. His eyes were wide, and she could see a sheen of sweat covering his chest. She leaned forward, wanting to lick it off, wondering how his skin would taste...