In religion, there are seven deadly sins that everyone must deal with sooner or later: gluttony, greed, sloth, pride, envy, wrath, and lust. In relationships, there are five deadly questions that every guy must deal with sooner or later: Does this dress make my ass look fat? How many women have you slept with? Should I get a boob job? Do you think I´d make a good prostitute? How the hell do I get her to sign the pre-nup? Forget about Dr. Phil, Wayne, Laura, and Dr. Ruth: listen to this book instead, and take control of your relationship. Now, for the first time, men of the world can have a chance to exist in a relationship without being at a disadvantage. This book teaches men how to deal with most of the most common things that women say. Men can now learn how to interpret those words, know the meanings behind them, and manipulate each situation to bring about a much more desirable conclusion. Also included in this book are the answers to the most difficult questions that females ask their men, plus how to get a pre-nuptial agreement signed, and much, much more. This is the perfect book for any male old enough to date, and is a must-listen for any guy about to enter into a relationship, because knowing how to interpret and manipulate the female thought process can be a life-saving skill. Dr. Shoveen has gotten into various degrees of trouble with numerous women´s rights groups, and the publisher of this book wants all listeners to be advised that the views of Dr. Shoveen in no way are meant to be representative of the views of Magic Lamp Press/Productions, the publisher of his books in print, digital, and audio formats. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Ted Delorme. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/070472/bk_acx0_070472_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
If you´re looking to get married and you´re not, there´s most likely a very good reason: you. Not that you´re a bad person - you´re certainly not! It´s just that you haven´t yet become the woman you need to be in order to have the partnership you want. So how can you grow into someone who is ready to say ´´I do´´ and to attract the same in a mate? You start with this book. Based on her wildly popular Huffington Post article - one of the site´s most-viewed of all time - Why You´re Not Married . . . Yet dishes out straightforward, no-holds-barred practical and proven advice for women hoping to head down the aisle or just have a great relationship. With sisterly insight, razor-sharp wit, and refreshing candor, McMillan points out the things that might be in your blind spot: unhelpful attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs so easy to identify in others, but much more difficult to see in yourself. Then she shows you how to adjust them to get the relationship you deserve. Like a no-nonsense but loving best friend, McMillan meets you right where you are to help you get where you´re going - with clarity and honesty. And she´ll make you laugh out loud along the way. More than just a relationship manual, Why You´re Not Married . . . Yet will help you diagnose what´s preventing you from getting what you want. Do any of these chapter headings sound familiar? You´re a Bitch: How defensiveness and anger can hide behind a tough, take-charge exterior, and why being nice is never a sign of weakness. You´re a Liar: How to stop lying to men - and get honest with yourself - about the kind of relationship you really want. It´s the only way. You´re Shallow: Being a woman who insists on a tall guy is no different from being a man who demands big boobs. Learn why you should let go of trying to get what you think you should have and focus on getting what you need. You´re Selfish:... 1. Language: English. Narrator: Tracy McMillan. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/rand/003099/bk_rand_003099_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
Hellhounds ate my homework. Justin won Elyssa´s heart and saved his dad from rogue vampires, but just when he thinks he can ride off into the sunset on a white horse, trouble not only knocks on his door, it plows through it with hellhounds. Spawn relatives with their own agendas, vampires running amok, and his father marked for death - it seems there´s no end to the kinds of monsters out to make Justin´s life miserable. It´s almost enough to make him long for the days of man boobs, Kings and Castles, and nerd status. With a list of impossible quests growing faster than he can keep up, tracking down the deadliest assassin in the world may prove easier than winning the approval of Elyssa´s parents. The clock ticking, and dark forces on his heels, Justin gets a crash course in the mysteries and dangers of the Overworld. But with Elyssa by his side and his growing menagerie of friends, impossible odds suddenly seem possible again. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Austin Rising. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/072909/bk_acx0_072909_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
You´ve found your Ultimate Retirement Book! Congratulations on reaching that point in life where you can sit back, put your feet up, and enjoy retirement! Just think of it, no more cares, no more hurry and...no more paychecks! Yikes! The first day of retirement is an exciting time. You get to sleep in until noon, then sit around in your pajamas all day. There are lots of soap operas to catch up on and then of course all those small jobs around the house you’ve been putting off for years. That was always the plan, right? But the reality is you’ll still get up at 7 a.m. every morning, looking in the mirror and wonder what to do with yourself. Maybe you’ll head out to Starbucks and nurse a coffee all day. Or you could just sit on the porch and scratch yourself as people go by. Those options don’t appeal to you? Well then, you’ve discovered the ultimate book on retirement just in time. Take this humorous approach to enjoy your retirement. In this book you will discover the 50 best things you absolutely need to do to enjoy your retirement to the fullest, such as: Joining a Nudist Club...It’s a jiggle fest and a giggle fest Dancing...Men will hate it, women will love it Get a Sex Change...for guys that had man boobs anyway The Art and Science of Napping...and yes there is Smoke Pot...Join the movement, it’s a joint effort Check out Cemeteries...Your last rodeo Gamble in Vegas Baby! What happens there stays there And so much, much more… After reading this book, you will never get bored in your retirement. You will know exactly what to do in your life...in the funny, humorous ways.... Perfect for retirees. Perfect retirement gift. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Sam Slydell. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/acx0/100544/bk_acx0_100544_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.
And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was hard.... That´s nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube, there aren´t any books on raising True Immortals, so let me give you a few tips.... Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion, and a map will help if you have only seven minutes and 31 seconds. You´re welcome. Parenting books are useless if you´re not human. If your child is half Vampyre/half Demon, I would suggest not using parenting books at all - they can backfire like a mother humper. Trust me on this. Have sex. When your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as fantasy. Oftentimes your child isn´t imagining anything. If he persists with alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy, it´s probably a Troll. Do a thorough search of your home, and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some imaginary friends are harmless. However, it´s wise not to take chances. Have sex again. When in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child´s hand. Losing a child in an amusement park is terrifying. If you´re truly paranoid, you could consider putting a chip in your child. If you do this, don´t discuss it at dinner parties. People will think you are weird. At least cuddle. Playing with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very difficult to reverse...like being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz. There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist. Find a closet, and go to town. 1. Language: English. Narrator: Jessica Almasy. Audio sample: http://samples.audible.de/bk/adbl/025799/bk_adbl_025799_sample.mp3. Digital audiobook in aax.